Jan. 9th, 2008

dianadragonfly: (Default)
This was in my in box:

You have 2 meet and greet passes to the above listed show. Please bring
your photo ID to the will-call window at the venue on the day of the
show to collect your passes. Please reply to this email to let us know
if you will NOT be able to attend.

Why am I saying "Shit"? A few years ago, when I got this message, I cried. Like a baby. Remember [livejournal.com profile] musewithamagnum?

I don't think I can go to this show. It's on a Friday. 4 hours away. And I'm taking 3 days off of work at the end of Feb.

Every time I spend money I don't have on this band, it's with this feeling that this is once in a lifetime, that I will never get another chance.
But I've gotten other chances.

No way my body is up to G.A. No way my heart is up to sitting nicely at a table in the back while the band I love rocks out.

I've spent WAY TOO MUCH MONEY on this band how it is.

They are doing a big event in Seattle again, a charity brunch. Sorry honey. Been down that road before. And even if I wanted to, I am putting on an AT workshop here in town that week that I'm currently freaking out about. So KC would really be my only chance this tour. No travelling allowed. Too broke. The 25th or nothing.

And... Dear God Almighty, I Loves me some Geoff.

And last time I saw him, at Rocklahoma, I gave him a copy of my story. I want to see if he's read it.

And then I can go home and see my mom. Grandma is supposed to be getting released from the skilled nursing center and mom will need some help. And I told mom I'd come home in January anyway.

I can probably share a hotel room with my friends. It's at Harrah's anyway, so I could drive there and even to my mom's with no issues. Not like Westport.

And I don't do anything at my job. My boss flat out doesn't want me to. They hired her an aide and she didn't want one. She does not want me to do anything independently in case I screw up, but doesn't think she has anything for me to do. So I sit with my laptop and program learning games for her students that I will never get to use. I am aware of this. As long as I don't make waves, don't bug her about me working and crap, then things are good. When I start to get ideas, when I start to get excited, when I want to help, want to do things, want to be part of the team -- that's when things get tense. I'm NOT part of the team. If I offer a suggestion, it's shot down. And resented.

And for this I'm giving up a concert?


And fan club members get into GA first. I might get pounded, but I'll be on the rail.

And I loves me some Geoff. I wants to see me some Geoff and Eddie and Scott and Stone and Whip.

I didn't email Susan back yet saying to throw the meet and greets back.



dianadragonfly: (Default)

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