la scoop

Apr. 29th, 2008 11:11 pm
dianadragonfly: (Default)
[personal profile] dianadragonfly
No crying today except for when cooking w/ onion.

Last night, I woke hubby up after my post, expecting him to be grumbly because he is super-protective of his sleep. Instead he was sweeter to me than he's been in a long long time.

There is nothing wrong. There is everything wrong. I'm in the horrible situation of knowing that what I want more than anything means that the person I love most in the world will have to give up something he wants more than anything.

I had a really cool potential job here in a new private school that is just opening. But hubby is on a job search so I agreed to leave... I am leaving Northwest Arkansas, my home for the last 6 years. For where?
Hubby applied for a job 2 hours from my hometown.
He's waiting to hear from them.
Meanwhile, he's also applied for a job in my hometown. Considering the situation with my mom and grandma and jordan,the girl I used to work with, I decided it might be time to go back to my family for a while, once I got over my pathological fear and loathing of the place.

I called my old boss about a position I saw advertised.
She offered it to me. It would rock -- it would be absolutely perfect. And after a year, I would be certified as a special ed teacher--something I can't do in Arkansas.Also, it's a new position and a chance to create something that works in a place I already know.

Signs say go. I was heartbroken at leaving, but know that if I go to my home, I will have a chance to help out a little and put things right.

But the job there is crappy for hubby compared to the two hours away job.

The special ed positions in the town hubby wants to go to are not really what I want to do and I don't get a good vibe from them. I would be a new person in an established position.

What we know:
me --job -perfect was supposed to tell them Monday if I wanted t
him - possibility but not first choice
he interviews next week
easy job -- could finish his phd

2hours from home:
him: really good job. He should find out soon (like supposed to be last week)
me: interview maybe? job not as good
better continuing ed opps though

professional connections
potential professional job net year
degree finishing
zilch in job
finish degree??

I'm stuck,knowing that good news for him is bad for me. And vice versa. And I'm not secretly hoping he will not get the job because I KNOW that will fucking crush him. I want... oh hell, I don't know what I want....

Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


dianadragonfly: (Default)

May 2017


Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 26th, 2017 02:26 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios